I know, love is so cliché. We don't really want to talk about it because it's awkward. Love means different things to different people. And there are so many nuances within the concept of love.
So let me see if I can capture what I'm meaning.
When I was young, there was a lot of trauma in my life. My nervous system had a hard time because there was always a new challenge. The result was that I shut down a lot of my emotions, withdrew, had few friends, and felt quite lonely. The longing to feel 'well' has been a driver for in many years of counselling and my 30 years of journaling.
Through my healing journey I have been seeking a sense of myself where I'm able to feel all the 'feels' without being overwhelmed. My art practice has been the best self help that I have ever done. When I'm at the canvas it's all me. My desire to create the idea meets my skills, and my pigments, while my intuition/muse meets me and together we explore how to bring the vision to life. During the painting process I have to trust myself. I have to listen closely to what the painting wants next from me, and I have to listen to the fatigue in my mind and body if I sit for too long. It is such a dance.
I'm so immersed in the painting that I often find myself crying as I complete my painting. It is such a wonderful feeling. Then I sit back and revel in what I've created. I often wonder "I made that?" It's a fascinating process for me.
This is the love, connection, acceptance and relaxation that I crave. It's where I feel well.
The other remarkable aspect is that what I create is a point of connection for my collectors/viewers. My challenge is to convey the love I felt making the painting in such a way that viewers can connect to it. I'm working on that.
What makes me absolutely overjoyed is when a collector says they would like to own a piece of my work. It is the full circle moment when the love I felt with the initial idea lands with the right person to receive it. It feels like a give and take exchange of positivity and LOVE.
It's my goal and hope that the paintings currently in inventory and the ones that I have planned for the coming years in my career will continue to connect with people in a meaningful way. That my art will make a difference in the world. That I will be able to donate paintings for a philanthropic vision, doing good for others beyond a single collector.
Onward we go. Bring on 2024. I'm ready to celebrate over the holidays and meet the new year with new vitality for this amazing career.
Thanks for coming along on the journey with me.