End of the year reflections.

This has been a big year.  I'm arriving at the end of this year, 2023, a bit creatively tired.  This past year I set the goal to paint for (7) different shows including a solo show at a local gallery. At the beginning of the year this felt daunting and yet with my dedication I was able to meet all the deadlines.  I was accepted into 5 of the 7 shows that I submitted to including an International exhibition in Toronto.  With the help of my collectors I hopped on a plane to attend the gala in person, thanks also to @Andrea J.Lee who graciously taxied me around, took the videos and entertained me for the rest of the event.  So grateful!!!

The wins include completing probably my best work, so far.  The paintings are amazing. 

The challenge that I'm now facing is that the expectations from these shows have fallen way short.  I expected there would be sales to go along with the added exposure.

That has not been the case.  I also know that art sales have been slow for every artist that I've spoken to regardless of price, genre, sales channel or experience. It's not just me.  ​

As a result, I've been doing some personal work to try to sort myself.  One of the books/interviews that I keep going back to are those from Rick Rubin.  Now if you are not familiar with Rick he is multi-award winning music producer who has been in the industry for 40 years.  While he has decades of experience his ego does not come charging into the room to tell you all about his collaborations.  

Rick is an intuitive, meditative man, with some really wonderful insights. 

• being great is a devotional act
• his only goal is to make something that he likes and he continues to work on it until he likes it - simple formula
• the audience comes last - if you truly do it for yourself it will ultimately be good for the audience too.
• making art is like a diary entry - it has nothing to do with anyone else
• make things to have your experience with it, then share it.
• manifestation is never based on the outcome, never asking for the result rather rising to the occasion to make something great. 

GREATNESS = the gift of yourself to GOD.

This, I think, is where I've gone astray.  I think I was focused on the outcome more than on the love of creating what I was truly inspired by.  Which isn't entirely a true statement because the pieces I've created are absolutely loves to me, but the context of creating them for show/accolades and the expectations of sales has tainted the experience for me. 

I think this creative act is sacred.  It's between me and God.  It's the precious gift I can give of my heart and spirit. It's a piece of me that I make myself vulnerable enough to create and then share.

I want to add that Rick's words about art being like a diary entry and really not about anyone else has been a valuable concept.  In the past few weeks I have had another artist bring some pretty harsh comments to me.  Her reflections on the quality of my work and how I've missed the mark in the perfection of my creations.  Yikes.  

The work comes through me, once I share it, it's available for interpretation and critique.  I know that.  What I find challenging is to stay true to my creative soul in the face of these comments.  They still shake me, which is likely the lesson here - growing my own resolve so the comments do not shake me.  

For Christmas my son asked that I make him a painting.  I've chosen a landscape with a scene of Okanagan Lake at sunset.  It is going to be amazing. 

I am not known for landscape work as I haven't focused there in my career.  However, I'm enjoying myself.  What I've learned from the floral paintings is helping me so much in this landscape.  I have about 8 days of work left on this piece.  The top quarter is all that has been properly painted in. (If you were wondering why the foreground looks all fuzzy).

In the act of creating art, I meet myself at the canvas each and every time.  I meet my doubt, my worry, my insecurities as well as my hopes, joy, and excitement.  Being creative is a full bodied, full emotioned experience.  

I want to pay tribute to a fellow artist whom we lost.  It is such a tragedy.  He finally had arranged his life in such a way to be a creative full time.  I don't know what happened, what challenges he was up against, however, he stepped off this life journey and decided not to continue.  He was so talented and had so much he wanted to accomplish.  I'm grieving for him.  I never met him.  I knew of him from social media and a mutual friend.  I'm grieving the potential that has now been lost.  

I'm also grieving for the genocide that is currently going on in Gaza.  The destruction of lives is unconscionable.  Why is there such brutality in the world?  Why are people still starving in Africa? Why do our first nations not have clean drinking water?  So many questions I can't answer.  

All I can do is my best with this life I have been given to live and as far as I can tell I'm meant to create beautiful art for the sake of bringing beauty and love into the consciousness of those who interact with it.  

Next year I'm planning to product and donate a painting/products to fund the installation of a water well in Malawi Africa.  Stay tuned.  The painting will be revealed in early May 2024. 

​Thanks for coming along on this journey with me.  Happy Holidays.  I wish you all the best as we close out this year.