Trying to avoid your anxiety may be putting people off. What if you were able to relax and be yourself in your writing? The way I see it there are a couple key things that come up when you try to write something meaningful. Let me explain.
We have this built in anxiety that we have to get it right. That somehow we could mess things up if we say things incorrectly. The perfection ideal stops us from writing because we circle around in doubt trying to avoid getting it wrong. As much as we think we can press on while holding the anxiety at bay, the anxiety comes with us to the page so we are managing that feeling while we are trying to be loose and expressive.
One thing I've found really helpful is to exhaust the anxiety before I begin to write. By exhausting my anxiety I mean give it voice. Writing down all the things that I'm anxious about. Things such as:
- what if I offend someone,
- What if I can't say things clearly enough,
- What if no one is interested in what I have to say, etc...
Often we avoid being this honest with ourselves. To stop for a moment and assess what we are feeling anxious about. When I do stop to acknowledge what I'm feeling anxious about I'm able to free myself up from this anxiety. It's odd, simply by acknowledging it, the hold it has on me loosens and I'm able to just write what is on my mind.
The second difficulty showing up is that what you write should lead to business or that something you say should have the result of a client finding you. This may or may not be true, however coming to your writing with that expectation is going to have that tone. There is an unspoken striving to achieve a result when you write from that perspective. I encourage you to drop any preconceived expectations of what your writing 'should' achieve. Your audience simply wants to hear from you. Drop the expectations and allow yourself to 'be.'
These two limitations that I've captured here are about obligation and fear. I would suspect that obligation and fear occupy other areas of your life, not just your writing. When we are obligated or fearful we are reacting to our life with the goal of avoiding something uncomfortable. Obligation may be trying to avoid disappointing someone. Fear maybe trying to avoid scarcity thinking.
In either case they are reactions and they are likely a habit. The good news is you can change your habits. It may not be comfortable, at first, but the rewards will be worth it. I can say this from experience because I used to be motivated by obligation and fear. Once I learned that the anxiety I'd been feeling was not going to go away until I stopped reacting to my life, things got much easier. I got more bold, honest, and true to who I am. I explored my personality and started to respect my preferences. When I was able to say no to things I previously responded to I felt much more relaxed and confident to be myself.
One last point I want to make is that in our efforts to say the right thing, to not offend anyone, and simply have people like us, we may actually be repelling people. They may be put off because of our effort you are making to say the 'right' thing.
It's been my experience that people react more favourably to me when I'm being true to what I want to say. I can trust myself and others learn they can trust me too. It's quite wonderful!
I encourage you to clear your anxiety, drop the expectation of what might come from your writing, and be yourself. After all this is what your audience wants from you, it's the reason They came to hang out with you in the first place.